and the world spins madly on
by DephNaughtDeejay
Summary: What if as Maya was dying, and getting closer to that warm white light, there was someone there to stop her, someone who had done what she had done, and tried to stop her.


_A/N So this takes place in the times right before Zig and Esme find Maya and when Katie comes out and tells everyone she's gonna be okay. but I thought I'd try and kill yall with some camaya feels. Enjoy! 1051 words_

"I can't do anything right" Maya muttered to herself looking down over the edge of the building. Her heart felt as if it was beating a mile a minute, as she stepped back from the edge, almost second guessing herself. Could she really do that? Just jump? Cam killed himself and she ignored all the signs coming from him that he was so depressed. Why was her friends not even suspicious about it even after she pushed them all away.

Maya's took another step away from the edge, as she became dizzy and fell down onto the top of the roof. She winced slightly as the fall, but didn't move. She had been feeling numb this whole semester, and now she was actually becoming it. She looked up into the night sky and just laid there.

Maya didn't exactly know what was happening next. Everything felt simple, and she didn't know where she was. Sitting up she was out front of Degrassi, and was laying on one of the picnic tables. It wasn't night time anymore, but it wasn't quite day time either. It was as if the dawn had just started to break through.

"Maya?"

The blonde heard a voice that she actually was waiting to hear ever since she started to try and make things easier on everyone else. Easier on herself. Campbell. She turned around and saw him standing there, just as she remembered last seeing him. Icehounds hoodie, the red bandana tied around his neck, blue jeans and sneakers. She hadn't said a word to him yet, just looking at him, happy.

"Why are you here?" Was Campbell's first words of confusion to her. Should he be glad because out of everyone at Degrassi he missed her the most? Or should he be worried about it all.

Maya scrunched up her eyebrows and slipped off of the picnic table and walked over to him. "Same reason as you." She said simply, letting out a breath. "I couldn't take it anymore Cam."

Cam's half smile that was on his face quickly turned into a frown. "Maya. I am going to get hit for saying this, seeing as I never listened to it. But it gets better."

Maya just started laughing, and shaking her head. "It gets better because you're gone. You're no longer a burden to your family, and friend and you're just free." Maya looked at him. "Isn't that why you killed yourself. because you're depression got the best of you, and made it feel like everyone would be better off without you?"

Cam wanted to stop her, several times, but let her keep going. "On one hand, the depression is eating you alive. Not literally, but to the point that you can no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel. And on the other hand, there is that light. That Maya Matlin everyone knows and loves. The one that everyone misses."

"She's not there anymore." She said softly looking at him. "She hasn't been here for a while."

Cam let out a sigh. "Okay so she's not. But this Maya that I'm seeing right now? Isn't the Maya I loved."

"Loved? You loved me?" Maya said softly taken back by that. "I loved you too Cam, and that's why when you.." She paused not sure what the right would would be.

"Say it, killed myself." Cam said with a shrug. "it's okay to say."

"Okay..killed yourself." She paused licking her lips. "It was so hard for me. I said it was stupid. and that you didn't deserve what the school did for you. And how you made a choice and it being wrong." Maya could feel herself on the brink of tears. "And how you should have fought it and how I would have helped you and if you had only given me the chance to help. And you had so many reasons to stay around, but you just checked out and said you were done." She blinked back the tears that were in her eyes. "You didn't even say good bye."

Cam listened to her. "So do you think you killing yourself, there is going to be someone at school saying those things about you? How you're making the wrong choice and how you should have fought harder and got help?"

"I had help. Therapy doesn't work for me. Nothing works for me Cam. I just feel numb all the time , and I just wanted to feel something." She sniffled before sitting down on the edge of the curb putting her head in her hands. "I made everything perfect. Katie was home and we had a movie night with popcorn and lots of junk food, I fixed the mirror I broke of my mom's I tried to make amends with everyone but I don't think that was enough"

Cam sat down next to her pulling her into his arms, rubbing her back in small circles. "You have the chance to still fight back, you know?"

Maya looked at him confusingly, but could hear what sounded like Esme and Zig's voices, but didn't see them. "Why are they here?" She said trying to look around for them.

"They aren't here" Cam started. "They are where your body is, on the roof. And it looks like they found you just in time for nothing to bad to go wrong if you didn't want to stay…"

"You're here, why wouldn't I want to say?" Maya said with a laugh shaking her head.

"But there are more people there that want to see you too, M." Campbell said simply, kissing her temple "I'm never far away really. I'm always here." He said pointing to her chest.

Maya let out a small sigh. "Yeah I know." She said softly. "I love you Cheesy"

"I love you too Maya."

Second after Cam said that Maya felt numb again, and on her side, and it was dark out again. She could hear Zig on the phone with 911, and could hear Esme crying. Foam dripping from her mouth, and then everything went dark again until she was a hospital room, feeling worse with herself than she had before trying to kill herself. Granted there was still a little part of her that was happy again, thanks to Cam.


End file.
